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Think your children are expensive? Mine actually eat money!

December 4, 2008



Last night my husband and I spent a great deal of time searching our home for a Target giftcard that had arrived in the mail this weekend. I had it one minute, next minute it was gone. I was annoyed because I thought I was being absentminded again, I swore it had been on the dining room table, and I was very annoyed that I couldn’t remember what I had done with the damn thing. However, upon wandering back through our bedroom I spotted the errant card – on the dog bed, where my son, and professional counter surfer, Jack had stashed it when he pilfered it off the dining room table. With his track record he was either going to pick his teeth with it, or save it for a late night snack.

This was not the first time that Jack has eaten, or attempted to eat, a monetary instrument. In October he snuck the birthday check my mother-in-law sent me out of the card and swallowed it whole. I’m not sure my mother-in-law believes this story and probably wont until she actually meets Jack at Christmas and he tries to eat her change purse.

Since we rescued Jack in June he has eaten a great number of items in our home and we now “Jack-Proof” our home before we leave. Doors leading to bedrooms and bathrooms are locked. Cupboards containing food and paper goods bear child-proof locking systems.

Here’s a random sampling of what Jack has eaten in the last 6 months.

1 container protein powder
1 Ugg boot
3 bamboo spatulas
1 3 ring binder
100 tablets Glucosamine (from bottle also ate label)
1 vintage napkin folding book inherited from my grandmother
1 leather Filofax
1 cardboard cereal box (sans cereal)
2 cellophane treat bags filled with chocolate, caramel, butterscotch cookies (still have never found the cellophane bags)
8 rolls of toilet paper
3 catalogs/magazines
Random pieces of mail (although he left my summons for Jury Duty alone)
15 stuffed animals (our yard is littered with the carcases of small fury creatures)

If you’d like to send Jack a dietary donation, please note he does accept credit cards.

One Comment leave one →
  1. August 1, 2012 3:25 pm

    That list must be a lie. If it isn’t – bahahaha!

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