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From The Realm of Bad Judgement: Scalers Shoes

November 5, 2010

Okay. Really. I’m sensitive about my weight. I know this. You know this. I’m usually working from the assumption that you’re calling me fat. I’m always calling me fat, so why shouldn’t you?

It must be a fall thing. Last year in November I wrote a post about a hideous new gadget that would Tweet your weight to the world every time you got on the scale. We all agreed that this was a bad idea. But clearly the world wasn’t listening. Perhaps I need to screech a wee bit louder this time? Donny Deutsch are you listening?


©Scalers USA

Meet Scalers Shoes. These adorable little sneakers come complete with built-in scales, that when you stop for 60 seconds will display your current body weight for 10 seconds for you and all the world to see. Yes. You read that correctly. It’s going to constantly say to you “Do you really want to eat that you fat cow?” and “Get moving you lazy fat slob, if you stop people will know how fat you are.” Okay, so it doesn’t have sound files… yet. But you see where I’m coming from here don’t you?

When you’re an overweight woman, the one thing you can always count on is that your shoe size will always be comparatively petite. You’re in a size 22 dress? Well, sure, that sucks. But you’re sporting some really cute, small size 7 shoes. A lot of women with weight issues put their fashion dollars into their shoes. However, I garontee you (said in a perfect Justin Wilson Cajun accent) that I will not be spending $75 to buy a fancy pair of implements of insecurity. Forget fuck me shoes, these are fuck off shoes.

What kind of sadistic moron came up with this idea? And how could you make this bad idea even worse? Make a kids version. Oh. Yeah. That will really help your obese child slide right into a welcome eating disorder. Heck, kids you check your body weight before you binge and after you purge. Awesome.

For the love of all trans fats, what will they come up with next?

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