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Deep Down You Know That You’re Not That Interesting

March 4, 2010

Seriously, I don’t like you.  You’re annoying.  You have such a grating voice, especially in text.  Do you have any idea how condescending you sound?  How rude your tone of voice comes across?  Of course you do, you’ve spent years perfecting that “I’m so much better than you are” attitude. This is why I no longer bother to listen to you.  I don’t read your posts, your comments, your emails.  None of them, I don’t even click the links. Did you know? Of course you do, deep down, you know that you’re not that interesting.

You know what annoys me more than your voice?  When you try to disguise it.  You play games and write letters, emails, posts, and play the game under different pseudonyms. You play your different selves on multiple systems simultaneously so that you can heal yourself during battle or have one of your selves draw enemy fire while you slink away to safety.  You’re nothing but a gamer pushing the rules to the extreme in pursuit of the next level and the highest score.  It’s no longer really very fun to play with you.  Did you know?  Of course you do, deep down, you know you’re not that interesting.

You know what annoys me more than how you play the game?  It is how much time the other players spend talking about how much they hate you.  Whenever we’re chatting strategy or sharing tips on how to get to the next level or which path to take next, there’s always an underlying discussion of how much they don’t like you or the way you play the game.  They talk about how much they don’t like your tactics and speculate on which of the other players are really you in disguise.  Do you have any idea how tedious the discussion of you really is?  Of course you do, you know, deep down, you’re not that interesting.

 I’ve made a resolution and I’d like to make this clear.  I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to hear from you, I don’t want to talk about you, and I don’t want to hear about you any more. You’ve sucked up enough of my time and my energy, so I’m unplugging you and stuffing my ears with cotton wool so I don’t have to hear you or anyone else who is talking about you.  So now you know.  But then again, you always have, because deep down you know you’re not that interesting.

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